The Cakes of Wrath

We Are Not Bakers...

Never have been.  However, as every parent will know with the addition of children to the picture, baking suddenly becomes a necessity in ones life.  From birthdays to school cake sales and if you live in the UK, a hundred rainy days staple.

My current husband was adamant that we make the childrens birthday cakes ourselves.  We asked them what they would like and whatever they requested, we would make.  It did not matter if they were lopsided or tasted awful.  The important thing was we did it ourselves.  For our kids.  As honestly, if we cannot do that once a year for them, how can we call ourselves good parents.  What a beautiful thing!  

Of course, over the last few years as my husbands business travelling has gone from once in awhile to three days a week, old Midget here has been passed the baton of the birthday cake challenge ad infinitum. 

I absolutely hate baking.  I curse and swear and cannot believe anyone has the patience to do this as a business.  It normally takes me about 3 days in total and I invariably get the flu or fall into a diabetic coma the moment the birthday party is over, from stress, being on my feet all day and eating too much icing.  That said, as much as I hate the baking bit.  I do rather like the tarting it up bit.  

So, as this blog is, on some level, "Mummy corn" I felt some sharing with regard to the evolution of his, then ours and now my cake making abilities were required. Enjoy.

2008 1st Birthday = Pathetic

2009 2nd Birthday = Supposed to be Thomas.  More like Gordon.  Mostly Inedible

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2009 Daddy Makes His Own Cake = Nuclear Waste

2010 1st Birthday = Remote Control.  Victoria Sponge Nailed!  Edible

2011 4th Birthday = Horse. Uber Rich Chocolate Fudge Cake.  Adults Only.  Target Market Failure

2010 3rd Birthday = Mini Car / Pope Mobile.  Yummy

2011 Mummy's Cake = Dense Chocolate Cement. Mouth Clagger

2011 Daddy's Cake = Oversized Giraffe on Two Chopping Boards.  Ate Head. Chucked Body.  Disgusting!

2012 5th Birthday = Snakes & Ladders.  FINALLY!  Lookin' Good & Edible

2012 3rd Birthday = Thomas Resurrection. Much Better.

2012 Daddy's Birthday = Star Wars Chocolate Cupcakes.  Tidy!

2013 6th Birthday = Tinkerbell vs Periwinkle.  Bit like Alien vs Predator but with less jelly and chest explosions

2013 4th Birthday = Mummy T-Rex, Baby T-Rex, Volcano and Jungle cake.  Brilliant if I do say so myself with the exception of this ...

 ... major league scaffolding to hold rice krispie mountain range in place.  Cake pushed into tight corner at birthday party to hide backside monstrosity.

2014 7th Birthday = Under the Sea cake.  Looks delightful.  Tasted great apart from the "fondant" icing creatures I made out of some sort of edible plastic bought in Singapore.  GROtesque.  Still, the fail safe Vanilla sponge underneath was a delight as always.

2015 - 8th Birthday.  Requested family of kiwis in an alpine forest.  I produced three poo's in a field.

2015 - 6th Birthday.  I AM GROOT

2016 - 7th Birthday.  Whale Shark.  Gets whale shark in captivity.  One can tell due to drooped tail.