I am in a bit of a mood so this post is most likely going to offend grievously.
Firstly, while out shopping this morning I saw a very pretty young lady who was about as small as me, 4ft 10 or whatever I was last on measuring, wearing platform sandals. Not wedge shoes or Slade shoes but an actual full platform with no heel so she looked like she was walking on those toys that kids have from the Early Learning Centre. Two Tupperware containers attached to string that they stand on and walk about. I guess those particular toys are for the boys who are not interested in being doctors and coppers and the girls who don't want to be nurses or princesses. At least they provide an option for the kids who want to join the circus. Well done Early Learning Centre for moving with the times. I salute you.
This reminds me of how on International Women's Day 2014, one of the malls put on a celebration of women by providing free manicures and pedicures. Wow! Ladies, I bet you feel you have come a long way when that is all anyone can think to offer you in celebration of your political, economic and social achievements.
Sorry, this rant is due to watching Adam's Rib last night.
Anyway this little lass looked like Herman Munster as a result. This annoyed me being a shorty, sadly not a clinically diagnosed dwarf but just short. I would not say I embrace it but I have accepted it and know if you wear three inch bricks on your feet you just look like a short girl with bricks on your feet.
All of this is completely irrelevant to the Internet which is what this post is supposed to be about but I am in a mood, as I said.
The Internet is upsetting me a little bit these days.
I have just done a bit of reading about Trolls. I am sure you all know about Troll's but I was fairly ignorant. I found out that in Internet slang, a Troll is a person who deliberately sows discord by starting arguments or upsetting people. This is often done on a chat room, forum or blog. The purpose is to disrupt normal on-topic discussion and often the Troll plants their mean seed and then says nothing but watches the upset play out as many people who are hurt by the comments thrash it out online.
This is similar to those fights in Westerns when John Wayne hits someone and then he bumps into some other cowboy and then socks him one and so on and so forth by which time all the drunk cowboys are smashing up the bar and it's complete bedlam.
Luckily, I do not have any Internet Trolls on my blog. One, because I only have one follower (thanks Vicks) and two because I have adopted the role of Trolling my own blog. Clever eh?
My surprise is in the bizarre places you seem to find Trolls. Even on the most innocent of sites. I accept you will find these sorts of people on celebrity sites because there is nothing more fun than sitting on your sofa in your pants hating everybody more beautiful, famous, successful and rich than you. However, it is surprising to find it in places which are intended whole heartedly to help.
There is a very helpful forum that I have joined here which is geared to expat wives. Kindly created by a team of volunteers it is intended to be a place for ladies such as myself to help each other out, get advice, provide recommendations, the usual thing and for the most part it is an extremely helpful and friendly place.
A couple of times my newsfeed has been flooded with comments following a snarky post by a lady who obviously saw someone wearing Tupperware platforms and went on an online sniper spree in response, but generally it is a wonderful and helpful forum.
I benefited from this forum recently seeking a bit of information and I was keen to share this while also highlighting the danger of the Internet in the hands of bored housewives. Believe me far more dangerous than in the hands of criminals.
Many of you may know that I am at loggerheads with my lovely little girl and her complete inability to show any enthusiasm for maths. Her defeatist attitude is turning me to drink and after using both the carrot and stick I have now given up. We did say we would continue to help her at home as long as she didn't make her punim face and slumped shoulders and she has continued to make her punim face and slumped shoulders about six times and I have overlooked it because she is so petrified of us hiring a private tutor to get her up to speed with her maths.
Anyway, the final straw came a few days ago when after doing number bonds to 50 and 100 which she did perfectly we moved onto subtraction and she could not take 8 from 9 at which point all patience was lost. Punim face ensued, posture went (for both of us) and I closed the books and the Ipad and told her to go to her room and work on her look so she can make her father's dream come true of becoming a footballers wife.
I then emailed my husband who was travelling on business saying "your daughter is retarded. I am getting a tutor". Now, remember what I said at the beginning before you all get cross. Anyway, I am not a bad mother. I did not say it to her face. I said it behind her back and besides lots of kids called me retarded when I was growing up and look at me. I turned out brilliantly, sitting here in the afternoon at the computer, unemployed and living off my husband.
Anyway, I remembered a couple of weekends ago we took her to Universal Studios. There is a rather dull show there within the Shrek section of the theme park where you get to talk to Donkey. My kids love this and always stick their hand up so they can talk to him. Luckily they have long eyelashes so tend to get picked. So, on our last visit Donkey asked my daughter what she wanted to be when she grew up and she said "a scientist". As I thought about this I felt very sad given maths and science are fairly simpatico and decided I can't give up on her even though I am quite sure she has no idea what a scientist does. We needed to find the right kind of help for her to get her confidence up. Becoming comfortable with numbers will make her happy and that will give her confidence. Hopefully from that point on there will be no stopping her.
So, I decided to go onto this expat wives forum. The rough angle of my post was "my seven year old daughter is struggling with maths as she seems unable to apply what she knows to different scenarios, managing quite advanced calculations but struggling with the absolute basics. Can any of you recommend a nice, patient but firm maths tutor". That was about it. Anyway, over the course of the next couple of hours I received 47 messages and about 8 personal emails. I was completely blown away at the kindness shown by so many strangers. They provided me with contact details of tutors they have used, suggested websites, teaching practices such as Kumon, talked about their own experiences with their children and some who were teachers in their home countries offered to meet with me and my daughter to see if they could help. It was a genuine desire to help and plenty of empathy to boot. I felt very grateful.
Of course there were some comments that got me worried. Some of the ladies, again much of this from their own experience and 100% kind intentions suggested that my daughter could have a learning difficulty if she is not grasping basic number concepts by this age. In fact one ladies experience sounded almost identical to my own. She had her child assessed by a paediatrician who diagnosed this child with dyspraxia. She suggested before I waste money on tutors and Kumon that I have her assessed by the doctor. I remind you that I am an idiot so of course thought, ooh eck! I never even considered a learning difficulty.
So, in a panic I googled dyspraxia. Dyspraxia is a developmental coordination disorder. It is a neurological condition which affects movements. Often accompanied by attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and diagnosed if it is not obviously cerebral palsy, muscular dystrophy or multiple sclerosis.
I received about four messages to this effect and knowing quite confidently that my daughter has none of these problems I realised that these ladies were muddling dyspraxia with dyscalculia which is basically the maths version of dyslexia.
Like I said, the Internet in the hands of bored housewives is a dangerous thing. Anyway, they were all genuinely trying to help but clearly didn't read my request very thoroughly as I was not looking for a cure for my child's cerebral palsy and dyspepsia but a maths tutor. How we got on to neurological disorders from not being able to subtract 8 from 9 I have no idea.
Luckily, following conversations with close family I was rightly reminded that there is almost too much information out there and with the Internet the speed and ability to attach an amateur diagnosis or a label to something is very easy. It is also quite an attractive proposition as it to some degree alleviates responsibility when you make it medical and I am certainly not ashamed to absolve myself of responsibilities when I can by linking the fact my kid can't subtract to an article in the latest edition of the Lancet.
But I am her mother and I should feel relieved of the fact my daughter does not have dystopia and just simply accept she is a bit crap at maths. After all, I was too.
I will fondly remember my dear old Aunty Molly who one summers day sat with me in my back garden on the grass with 60 pebbles when I was around 8 years old and explained the times tables to me which I had been struggling with for months. No iPads, no online games, no Internet, not even pen and paper. Just some pebbles. Those few hours that she spent with me set a light bulb on in my head and I never struggled with maths again and today I am a brilliant scientist here in Singapore.
Well, that is not true but I do still know my times tables to 12. No further of course.
